Self Care First Aid!

Today's post might be a bit of tangled mess and for that I apologize. I had a great idea it's just been a bitch trying to figure out how to express the different points. Hell even identifying the different points that are important have been... kinda fighting me. Doesn't help that today was laundry day. It wasn't all that stressful today as the laundry mat was all mostly older folks who don't really bother anyone. It was just stressful enough that when we got home and I noticed one of the dogs knocked over my tomatoes plants at some point this morning, I had to sit down and crochet for awhile. In this instance checking to see if a design of mine would work in chunky yarn. Oh hey... I guess that ties back into my title doesn't it?

So let's talk about a small elephant in the room. No seriously, it's a small one. Maybe about two or three years old. Pagans, Wiccan's, Witches, Heathens... whatever your tag, it seems like we have a lot more people than other groups that deal with anxiety, PTSD, depression, etc. I think a part of that is one of the things that is becoming or has become intrinsic to our 'community', is taking on a level of emotional honesty about what we're dealing as human beings. How many of us can honestly say the last Sabbat, Esbat or God/dess feast day we remembered to celebrate without being reminding by the Internet or friends? I think I managed last night, but it was because I was engaged in a self care ritual of sorts.

I'm starting to think we need to have a little bit of a focus shift. We can't be good stewards of our craft, if we aren't taking care of ourselves. We can't take care of our communities. Our inner circle of tribe, our friends or our family. We can't take care of our home or the pets that the Universe has placed in our lives to bring us some joy and unconditional love. 

It's time we do some first aid our lives and minds when it comes to our self care habits and needs. So I've been trying to figure out how to hash out the steps which was a bit more complicated today than normal. Usually when I do one of these essay's the words flow. Not today so much. They are there but they need some coaxing. So let's do some breaking down.

Normal first aid has steps like stopping bleeding, clearing airways, etc.

So needless to say our steps are going to be very different in some regards and more in depth.

1. Identify your worst problems. Like for me it's my depression, anxiety and PTSD mental and emotional wise. Physical wise it's I hate being pain so I don't exercise like I should be and hip problems. 
2. Identify your Shadow.
   This is the part of yourself that has everything repressed. Don't sweat identifying everything. Shadow work is something EVERYONE regardless of beliefs should do. It's a life long thing too. Everything you try to force yourself to forget and every negative emotion you squash becomes a part of the shadow and shadows left un-dealt with become something much much worse.
3. Identify how your problems manifest themselves.
   Do you skip showers for days? (We need to save money on the water bill. I have no friends who come over so why bother. I'm always sick. I don't have the energy.)
   Just don't eat? (I have got to finish this project. I don't want to get out of bed. Why do I even bother cleaning this house no one cares? etc etc etc)
   Obsessively engage in a behavior? You get the general idea.
4. Identify feedback loops, both positive and negative.
   I literally just got done this couple of weeks figuring out this step. Forcing yourself to put down your work so that you can eat, bathe, worship etc; is fucking hard.
5. Identify all the things that make you feel better.
   Pet play time! A good cup of coffee or tea. Taking a hot bath with smelly goods. Putting a favorite album on repeat. 
6. Identify what you are spending the most time and whether or not it's actually making you feel better in the long term. Short term be damned.
   If you're spending hours on ( insert site) arguing, you're not improving your mental mindset. You're not improving your ability to take care of yourself. You're not loving on your dog or cat or what not. You're not catching up on dishes, on cleaning a floor, on making that hat you promised. You're wasting time on things that aren't constructive to yourself, your home and those that genuinely need you. You're harming yourself. Quit that.

All of those take work and time. The next step of Self Care First Aid after Identification? I'm still working on how to explain that part with clarity. For me it's been setting up routines. It's been designating a chore hour where:

• I fill the dish drainer with dishes at least once if not at least five dishes clean.(This will get upped to at least six dishes in a couple of months.)
• Check on my plants on my way outside to throw away the day's trash and check on the mail.
• Morning routines are drinking coffee in bed currently (Seriously OMG I love DR dearly. Most mornings, this is my day start. Along with being under a purring cat and puppy pile.)
• Not checking social media sites right away. I go play one of my mobile games.
• Check my Bujo to do lists so that I know how much energy I'm spending today on the once or twice a week chore.

See what I mean about that second part? It's been hard to nail down

into a process. Plus there's the long hot relaxing bath on full moons now. There's literally nothing stopping any of us from being engaged in our practices in a manner that helps us be better people. Taking care of ourselves and our self care processes becoming better so that our days are less stressful because let's face it, we are our own biggest sources of stress 99,999,999 out of 100,000,000 times. We are to blame for things becoming sources of aggravation because we aren't weighing what is going on properly. This is self harm. And we all need to stop it.

I've been trying to figure out a way to express a "13 Full Moons of Self Care" kind of idea. It's percolating but don't expect it any time soon. 13 full moons of just taking care of yourself and your home. Because let's face it folks: You can't serve the Gods/Universe if you're too broken to even be honest with yourself about your life's condition. You can't take care of the God/s requests, if you won't take care of yourself. And you sure as hell can't take care of other people, if you don't have even 50% of your own shit straight.