Thursday, January 22, 2015

*holds a finger to her lips*

Hush child, you'll wake the snowflakes.

Yes yes, I know I had said I had moved and for the most part I have...but there is a problem with wordpress and that is there are a lot of slimy's over there. Children screaming microagressions and other talking points fed to them that they've never challenged.

So for the most part, everything you find here is going to stay put. So be sure to hop over to the new blog because for the moment, I'm working on crafting but my rants are sure to follow soon. I'm just dealing with still being in California and not yet Arizona... *sighs*.  Oh well right?

Monday, December 29, 2014

We've moved!

The move is official, if you're looking for new content from me I'm over at The Wandering Witchling on WordPress now.

All content previously done here on this blog will be left up at least for another two or three months to give everybody time to update their bookmarks.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

MOVING SOON!!

Well now that is not unexpected news I know... but I mean the blog is moving, not me yet.

The Wandering Witch has a new home that I'll be working on building over the next month and will start posting over there to that regularly starting February 1st.  (Okay yeah so it might actually be sooner once I get it polished to the point of working.)

The Wandering Witch at WordPress

Those of you who visit frequently, feedback on page design, layouts and help figuring out WordPress would be appreciated.

Monday, December 22, 2014

It's almost 2015 already?!

The Chief just seemed appropriate. =)

Holy shit... well I finally got all my Christmas orders done.  I've learned some serious lessons this year, like me and poison oak don't get along, but there's been others.

Like time management.

Like if someone brings my ability to work to a crashing halt, I need to put my damn foot down about there are very specific times they can be over and very specific time amounts they can stay.  I lost a lot more time than I like to think about to that idiot. Who now is trying to use her boys as pawns to get her into a better housing situation or flown home. Oh and it's everyone else's fault but her own that she's now couch surfing. I feel sorry for her kids.  Her...not an ounce. She had four different jobs that she managed to land.... then got too drunk and hungover.  I'm sure you can guess how that ended.

I've learned that I've healed a lot this year. I was able to go hiking with two folks I barely knew and had a blast. Nothing triggered. No episodes. Just a good much needed break. I was able to go to a ballet (!!!!), the Nutcracker. I had DR with me of course and a bag with crochet in it. (HA! Thought I left that behind didn't ya?)

I've learned to have less fear of the future. Still have a massive amount, but it's probably half of what it was. Fear as in, whether or not I am capable to learn enough as to the where's and what's I'll be doing in the future are of minor concern.

I managed so far to get through this holiday season with a panic attack. I think it's been at least three or four months since the last one, that's a record. There have been a couple of minor ones that I managed to head off, and no anxiety attacks flaring into a panic attack.  Whew.  Now that (!) is progress.

I still miss my cat though. =(

And yes for those of you wondering Mace is based on Mindy.  Many of the interactions between Lacy and Mace in normal every day to day, are actually things that happened with us at the cabin. Including the bit about band aids needed on the thighs.  Ouchz!

I've started writing again. I used to write a lot of that was... let's just say, only DR gets to see that and even then I get a pat on the head. Yeah, that's the best way to sum up his reaction and no, I don't find it insulting. I tend to understand that action a bit better than vocal reactions to that old stuff.

I know I need to charge a bit more for some of the things I make.  Like the coats.  I think I'll be phasing out a couple of things after New Year's and introducing several new things that are going to go over well I think. Nope, no hints.

We also have a table now.  Yes, it's el cheapo fold plastic table from Wal*Mart, but we have a damn table. We have a place we can sit and eat our meals at...instead asian style on the floor....

I still have a few other orders, but I still don't know what to do with myself now that all the Christmas ones are done. Feels weird to be honest.  Good, but weird.

We celebrated Yule this Sunday. I managed to make a leg of lamb taste amazing. We threw it into the crockpot with leeks, rice and green onions.  I barely tugged on the bone and it came out with no meat left on it. We did stuffed bell peppers with goat creme cheese and veggies.  There's enough food left over for another week's worth of meals.

I'm not active on my facebook right now. I'm sad because facebook changed their policies about pages and you basically have to pay after January 2015 for people to see your content. I ain't got that kind of money.  I'm sad because a lot of really awesome pages might go bye-bye while I'm gone.  I'll have a website hopefully soon though, so that I can stop relying on Etsy and Zibbet.

I AM on ello under Evelyn Stormrose, so if anyone is over there and not already friended me, please feel free, drop me a line too while you're at.

I will have be having two coats at the end of February up for grabs.  No clues about the colors, you'll just have to wait and see.

Okay, I've rambled on enough for today. =) See you guys tomorrow.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Changeling's Agony, Chapter III

HIYA!!!! Are you enjoying this series so far? Yes I know it's a bit ambiguous right now as what's going on with Lacy, but I promise that before Changeling's Agony is done, it'll make partial sense.  The next in this series is going to be Changeling's Awakening.  The prologue, after going over my notes for this story I made year's ago, isn't quite right for what this story is going to be telling, so once Agony is done, I will be re-releasing an adjusted version of the prologue so that certain things will become clearer.  For those of you who have been reading my blog regularly, thank you thank you thank you!!!  I do greatly appreciate it and will hopefully soon have something awesome for you. -- Evelyn



This is a work of fiction.  All concepts, characters and events portrayed in this book are used fictitiously and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. 
Copyright Evelyn Hively, 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the publisher, nor be circulated in any form of bind or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.




January 19th, 2012

    Somewhere in my subconscious is a repressed memory of such that no person such ever have to deal with.  

- Lacy's Journal 


    Keep going.
    Katana's voice echoed through her ears. It was a strange sensation having an ethereal creature be able to affect things the way this dragon did. At the same time, Lacy was glad for it. All Mace could do was distract her and make her laugh. Kat could actually talk back with full syntax and coax, cajole or scold her into continuing to work.  
    It was four a.m. in the morning.  She hadn't been to sleep yet. Sleep was refusing to come to her. There was a pile of hats next to her. She had found a basic hat pattern in one of her crochet pattern books three days ago. From there she had been combining two different colors of yarn into hats. 
    Make another one Lacy. Keep going.
    Lacy glanced at her rather large serpentine friend. Her eyes were nearing bloodshot and she exhausted, but sleep wasn't happening yet. The only light was from the fire. It was all she needed for this particular crochet pattern as she could do it at this point in her sleep. She grabbed the crochet hook and two new strands of yarn. She chained four and paused, looking at Kat.
    "Does this really help?"
    Don't be silly. You know it does. It releases endorphin's into your system countering the depression and you end up accomplishing something. You know this. Keep going. You must keep going Lacy.
    Lacy felt herself start crying. She had always had trouble getting to sleep, but staying asleep had become a problem in recent months. DAMNIT, she thought. She was more emotional than normal too and it wasn't that time of the month either as she had just finished that. So what was it? The answer to this was eluding her.
    Lacy wiped the few tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath. She started doing double crochets into the fourth stitch from the hook and kept going until there were twelve. She paused again, Kat watching her from underneath a much bigger carport on spirit side than in reality. Katana kept her agitation under control. There were wounds deeper than she had been led to believe about her little human charge. She wasn't pleased, as those wounds would seriously hinder things in the future if they weren't dealt with.  
   Kat nudged the young woman with her nose.  
   Come on.  Keep going. Just one more hat, then I'll sing you to sleep.  
    Lacy nodded, smiling slightly. Dragon songs she had found were very soothing when done right. She almost always slept when they were singing. They being Kat and two smaller dragons that were practically babies that had shown in the past week. One told her it's name was Gnobin. He looked like a baby Draco. The other was called Snarp. She enjoyed being on top of the fridge for whatever reason. When all three of them sang, there was no staying awake.
    Kat watched the young woman work, keeping her pace steady. The more work she did, the farther she pulled herself out of the blackness that was afflicting her. The closer she get could herself to being in a grey state of being, the easier it would be to pull the memories up that she needed to deal with. They had to be dealt with.
    Lacy found herself on the third row of the hat. She kept going as these hats only took her around an hour to make. For whatever reason, she was sleeping best between five a.m. and ten a.m.. It was only five hours of sleep, but it was deeper sleep than normal and more restful. 
    Mace stuck her head around the chimney and watched her human in it's rocking chair. She looked at the dragon and trilled at it. Kat chuckled.
    You know the answer to that as well as I do.
    "You guys creep me out when you do that."
    Kat laughed. Lacy wasn't able to speak Cat, but dragons could.
    She's being impatient for you to get to bed. Apparently it's cold and she wants snuggles. Snuggles are worth putting down your yarn.
    Lacy stood up, joints protesting the change of position. She put another two pieces of wood plus two pieces of hard wood she knew would burn slow into the fire stove for a total four new pieces and trilled back at Mace. Mace charged up the stairs to their bedroom and waited for her to crawl into bed, before snuggling tight into her back. Lacy fell asleep with a smile on her face to the very loud purrs of an adoring cat.
    Katana watched from her vantage point.  She had her work cut out for her. She slipped back away from the growing quiet cabin and took to the air. The Appalachian mountains, while older than the Rockies, had more hiding places despite their erosion rates. Her mate was waiting for her in one of the hollows. Uchi, looked at her adoringly as she landed. They touched foreheads for a moment before curling around each other.
    How is she, he asked.
    I'm not sure. I'm worried we didn't find her in time to alleviate the damage done.
    Uchi gently nuzzled his mate. They had been asked to find this girl human for reasons he didn't understand yet.
    Think she'll dream tonight?
    No. I've been asked to not let her until she reaches a point of being able to handle the night terrors one at a time, Kat told him.
    He frowned, which was a abnormal thing for a dragon of his type.
    One at a time?
    Oh yes...it's worse than what we were told.  This assignment is going to hell for me. I can see my old friend in her, but I know she's not actually her. I know she's Lacy.
    Uchi covered his wife with a wing.
    The Supreme would not have asked us to do this if it wasn't her. She'll be fine. We must have faith in her.
    Katana snuggled against him.
    I hope you're right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

    Gnobin curled up beside the bed of his foster mom. Mace looked over the side at him.
    Yeah, I know you're not happy sharing her buuuuuutttttt......
    The cat just huffed at him. He snorted softly and checked on Lacy. She was the human that was to be his constant foster mother while he grew until she passed on or until he hit a hundred. Spirit side time moved differently than normal human time, so he wasn't sure which would happen first. Lacy was the first human he had ever interacted with. She doted on him like a normal mother, but still let him look around. With conditions of course.
    Mace jumped down and curled around him leaving him with a smile. That meant they were going into the dream worlds. Lacy had repressed her memories of being able to do that so it meant they were her backup. He liked it when he got to run with Mace. Mace, on the Dream plains, was actually a very large Jaguar. A very very large Jaguar. While Lacy never remembered while waking, she rode Mace and it was like watching a four year ride a draft horse that was a Percheron or Clydesdale. The cat was massive.
    He closed his eyes and was looking up at his feline friend in seconds. Mace looked down at him chuckling.
    At your size, I'm not sure why you don't just appear on my back.
    I prefer to do such things with permission if you don't mind, he responded back to the massive dire sized jungle cat. She gently head-butted him.
   Come on. We've a Lacy to find.
   He glanced around as he leaped up and flutter down to between her shoulder blades.  
    Shit... where is she?! We usually jump into the Dream Plains right next to her. 
    Mace looked around and sighed.
    It means she's reliving tonight.  
    Damnit...and she's still repressing. It'll be another month before she's ready to deal with it... Gnobin sighed heavily. His foster mother had so many problems that he in his forty-years of existence could not solve. Then he remember he was only a baby in dragon years. He wasn't going to be a teenager so to speak until he was a hundred and sixty. Mace glanced over her shoulder at him.
    Focus.
    Right, sorry.
    S'all good hun.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Argh

So today is a cheat post.  Sorry about that guys.  I'm dealing with one of my crocheting nemesis's: Baby booties.

I know I know, they are ridiculously simple looking.... yet I can't make them with any semblance of looking decent to save my crochet hooks.  Hundreds of patterns and it all comes out looking the same.  Go figure right?

So here's some season fitting music from one of the few artists that I can stand listening to around this time of year, for any length time.


Saturday, December 13, 2014

I am a....

My mind makes strange logic jumps.  I think everyone who has a healthy mental state does.  We jump all over the place and find ourselves at what seems completely logically ends to a series of thoughts that only we the individual were privy too.  As to what it was that I was reading somewhere that triggered this.... I've no clue.

For a very long time I called myself a Wolf.

Why?

Because I knew myself to have a pack.  An inner group of friends and family that I would protect with claw, tooth and life.  An outer pack of friends and family, that I would protect tooth and claw.  An extended pack, given the circumstances, that would get the same treatment as the inner pack.

I knew I had a code.  You don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you.  You don't prevent me from taking care of my pack, ditto.  There's a hierarchy of people I'll listen too.  I'll admit that I'm not able to fit into an Alpha/Beta paradigm.  I will be a second in command but if the "in command" person has his head up his ass, I will step and start giving orders until shit smooths out and start working again.  Then, back to just being that woman in the shadows.  Or maybe that's what a good Beta is.

Well, the pack, code and hierarchy are still there. I am part Wolf.

But that wasn't all.... so I looked deeper at another animal that is reflected by humans.  Coyotes.  The coyote is an odd creature.  In some North American cultures, he is the Creator. In other's he is the trickster.  In all, he forces one to look at themselves and evaluate their actions honestly.  Ever notice how coyotes take over empty Wolf territory?

Coyote...  they are a paradox creature.  I've been called an enigma many times.  Paradox even.  I have humor where I should have pain.  I use the humor to take the edge off the pain.  He is playful.  I've been told I'm too childish or too playful at times.  He is very adaptable.  There is no environment that he can't become used to and become a part of.  I've been finding... that is true for me.

 Coyotes are resourceful and very adaptable.  They are very very crafty.  I don't think I've encountered any kind of object or tool yet that could aid in my comfort for all practical purposes in a survival, prepping or what not situation that I couldn't engineer or figure out, based off of what skills I already know.

I've had to learn to be those.  So I'm part Coyote and part Wolf.

But those don't fit fully right either.

There is the Bald Eagle.  The symbol of our nation.  What is he?  He is courage and an encouragement to go beyond our comfort zones.  A creature of vision.  The Bald Eagle and his brothers of many types, have been upheld by cultures from around the world.  Why?

They fly the highest.  Their vision is the sharpest. They are endurance and resilience.

Things I've been learning to do over the past several years.  So I am part Eagle, Coyote and Wolf.

There's more though.

About March 2012 I was shown that I had Hummingbird medicine in my life.  Or rather, it was back in my life.  Hummingbird... she is unconditional love.  Now, I learned I was capable of this for my fiance, whom we'll call DZ from here on out.  DZ when he appeared in my life came when I needed love that was returned, because I was willing to give love in a manner most weren't used to getting unless they felt they had earned it.

I'm capable of some amazing things despite my size.  Just like her.  Since DZ and I have become involved, I've been more able to be playful again.  I can temper the cynical with playfulness.  Hummingbird is learning to find joy in life where most may not be able to see.  I'm learning that and have learned that.  She's also resilient.

Okay, so part Hummingbird then.  There's more.

Bison.... the American Buffalo.... known among folks as the spirit of abundance, protection, strength, survival, formulating beneficial plans... all things I can lay claim too in past two years.  A long two years.   A two years that have brought an abundance of challenges, love and healing.  Years of protection from the universe and Gods in the right ways that have kept me here on this world.  Years of finding small scraps of strength when I needed them.  Years of surviving the worst demons my inner self could throw at me and that others could throw.  Beginning to be a more vocal prepper but also working tempering my skills.  Finding a balance between being ready and still having fun.

I am Buffalo, Hummingbird, Eagle, Coyote, Wolf.

They make bring to forefront something that I think we've been lacking in our language.  A new word to apply to folks who don't feel that sheep dog or wolf is apt enough, to express the American spirit.  A word to express that which is the American resilience that blazed the trails to California.  A word that is the tenacity of the fighter that is an American soul.  A word that encompasses what we are as Americans, on all fronts.

Something to describe the millions of strong willed, freedom seeking, stubborn headed, loving, able to dream... people who came to North America, our ancestors.  Something to describe the blending of lives, culture and time.

I'm something much more terrifying that a Wolf and its pack.  A Coyote and his craftiness.  A Hummingbird, an Eagle and a Buffalo.

I'm a Chimera.  I am a combination of bloodlines, ideas and thoughts that make for a creature that is stronger than it's parts.

Americans are Chimera's.

 I am Chimera.