You guys are familiar with the Spoons Theory? It's a fairly easy and accurate way to teach someone about illnesses and psychical limitations that one has to deal with. There's also a Spell Slot Theory that is a twist on the Spoon theory that can be used to explain to folks who've a bit more experience in DnD or MMORPG that don't quite grok why you'd use spoons, because spoons can be washed... and there you can see why I grabbed onto the Spell Slot twist on it. It just made more sense.
Well my brain being what it was, was rambling on on on on about how they aren't and can't be the same thing. My mind went "Hold up...You might actually be onto something."
Spoon theory is based on the finite number of resources emotionally, energy wise and mentally in order to accomplish tasks. Be they minor tasks like brushing your teeth and hair for some people or for others, just managing to get dressed. Spoon theory in of itself is a set theory. It suggests the lack of presence to grow. It also suggests that some spoonies just aren't willing to take the time to sit down and actually look at their spoons and classify things like grocery shopping, showering, doing one house chore this day and this house chore this day and how many spoons those take.
There are spoonies I know that could stand to do this. Why they haven't is because I think they are afraid to. It's an intimidating task being honest with yourself.
Spoon theory can also be used a convenient excuse by those who refuse to do more.
Spoon theory also doesn't account for the fact that human beings aren't milled from a single blueprint. Every human who is a spoony, is going to have a different number of spoons compared to another spoonie.
Spoon theory, while it works, is constrained. Its perfect for those with enough experience with their issues, that know they really are set in stone and perfect for those lazy fuckers who just don't want to do more. It's also been claimed by people who have no damn right to it. It's also been used by people, who aren't really spoonies, but should actually be using Spell Slot Theory.
Earlier I said, Spoon Theory is a rigid concept. There is no room for growth.
Spell Slot Theory is one that should by many in place of Spoon theory. Spell Slot theory acknowledges that we are all at different stages of dealing with our issues. For some folks they are limited to five level slots, three level 2 and one level 3 currently.
You see by employing the Spell slots, you acknowledging you're a still learning growing human being. You're gaining experience every day with what you can and can't do, and how much of what you can do. You're not limited, by either the issue itself (Fibromayaglia, Lyme's disease, etc) or yourself because you've decided it's not worth the effort of trying (would you please stop fucking selling yourself short?).
Let's say every year of dealing with an year, is one level of experience. At base level, you have these things called cantrips. They are little no cost things. What might qualify as a cantrip:
- Going to the bathroom
- Getting a drink of water
- Petting a kitty snuggled up to you
- Hitting play on the next episode
- Drinking coffee
Now at base level you also have three-five level 1 spells.
- Making coffee
- Getting dressed
- Making breakfast
- Checking your email
- etc etc
Now let's say you find yourself at the end of the first year and at the beginning of the next year. That means you're now level 2.
You've a couple more cantrips now, things that used to be level 1 spells that you've managed to make easier through pure stubbornness. You have a couple more level 1's and now some level 2's.
See where I'm going with that?
Now the problem with Spell Slot is being honest with yourself about whether or not an action is simple and almost mindless as to be a cantrip or a level 1 or a level 2. There's also the point to be made with let's call it a Practical Spell Slot theory, the more practice you put into accomplishing a spell smoothly, when you level up, some of the previous harder spells become lower level. Say making breakfast was a level 2 and you managed through dedication to not only make breakfast consistently but every other day also make extra ingredients that could be used in lunch or dinner later that same day. When you level up, Making Breakfast becomes a Level 1.
Practical Spell Slot Theory, or PSST (....not that wasn't deliberate!) allows you take into account that you don't stop growing just because you have issues. It gives you the freedom and lets you give permission to yourself to take care of yourself and your home. Plus you can add a second factor into the PSST if you wish.
It's a concept, in role playing games like Pathfinder called Gradual Progression. You gain a thing every so many experience points. Say every four months (or three times a year) you set yourself a goal of adding a task that seems really hard to get done every week or every day (like washing some dishes or taking a shower twice a week). It's okay to tag it a above your level spell at first. It's not okay to shove it off to the side and say "It's too hard."
Practical Spell Slot gives you the room to fail but come back and try again. The thing with PSST is that when you sit down and go over everything you can do in a day, you might surprise yourself at just how much you are managing to accomplish.
I think it's safe to say that all three concepts need to see refined usage but that does mean a lot of folks will have to be a little bit more honest with themselves.
I'm still working on this as I think with my issues, I fall under Practical Spell Slot. I'm actively working towards trying to maintain certain levels of things and add to them. Like showering every other day and doing at least five dishes a couple times a day. Still working on the showering thing as my mind constantly has to fight my brain because "OMG THE WATER BILL, WE CAN'T FUCKING RUN THAT UP RIGHT NOW" and my mind wants to stab my brain over this right now.
That was a big post....geez... and this concept essay still has some holes.... argh!