I seriously think that there are times when the rituals that were once to help engage in that process, were deliberately discouraged and banned. Not because they were a competing religion but because such rites make it harder to control a human. Because that human wasn't distracted by emotional constraints and they had dealt with their shit to an extent that allowed to take of care of themselves and those around them that they cared about.
Rituals and catharsis... they go hand in hand. With so much lost of the Old Knowledge, such rites to deal with grief, lose, etc are much more spontaneous, less structured and more personal. It's a blessing curse, because what works for one person... will not work entirely for another person.
Here a few weeks ago, I had another miscarriage. It'd been... four or five years since the last one, and it was until halfway through bleeding like a stuck pig that I realized it what that was going on. Kinda hard to mistake to that ache honestly.
One of the things I love making is toys. It's been almost impossible to crochet for any decent length of time since the miscarriage, but I am managing. I wasn't expecting to end up with these three let alone more than one, but it would seem that this had been my catharsis. I don't dare do anything that would ensure a full term baby yet, because we need out of California first. Give it a few months in Phoenix, and then... well, we'll see what the universe holds us, won't we?
No comments:
Post a Comment