MOVING SOON!!

Well now that is not unexpected news I know... but I mean the blog is moving, not me yet.

The Wandering Witch has a new home that I'll be working on building over the next month and will start posting over there to that regularly starting February 1st.  (Okay yeah so it might actually be sooner once I get it polished to the point of working.)

The Wandering Witch at WordPress

Those of you who visit frequently, feedback on page design, layouts and help figuring out WordPress would be appreciated.

It's almost 2015 already?!

The Chief just seemed appropriate. =)

Holy shit... well I finally got all my Christmas orders done.  I've learned some serious lessons this year, like me and poison oak don't get along, but there's been others.

Like time management.

Like if someone brings my ability to work to a crashing halt, I need to put my damn foot down about there are very specific times they can be over and very specific time amounts they can stay.  I lost a lot more time than I like to think about to that idiot. Who now is trying to use her boys as pawns to get her into a better housing situation or flown home. Oh and it's everyone else's fault but her own that she's now couch surfing. I feel sorry for her kids.  Her...not an ounce. She had four different jobs that she managed to land.... then got too drunk and hungover.  I'm sure you can guess how that ended.

I've learned that I've healed a lot this year. I was able to go hiking with two folks I barely knew and had a blast. Nothing triggered. No episodes. Just a good much needed break. I was able to go to a ballet (!!!!), the Nutcracker. I had DR with me of course and a bag with crochet in it. (HA! Thought I left that behind didn't ya?)

I've learned to have less fear of the future. Still have a massive amount, but it's probably half of what it was. Fear as in, whether or not I am capable to learn enough as to the where's and what's I'll be doing in the future are of minor concern.

I managed so far to get through this holiday season with a panic attack. I think it's been at least three or four months since the last one, that's a record. There have been a couple of minor ones that I managed to head off, and no anxiety attacks flaring into a panic attack.  Whew.  Now that (!) is progress.

I still miss my cat though. =(

And yes for those of you wondering Mace is based on Mindy.  Many of the interactions between Lacy and Mace in normal every day to day, are actually things that happened with us at the cabin. Including the bit about band aids needed on the thighs.  Ouchz!

I've started writing again. I used to write a lot of that was... let's just say, only DR gets to see that and even then I get a pat on the head. Yeah, that's the best way to sum up his reaction and no, I don't find it insulting. I tend to understand that action a bit better than vocal reactions to that old stuff.

I know I need to charge a bit more for some of the things I make.  Like the coats.  I think I'll be phasing out a couple of things after New Year's and introducing several new things that are going to go over well I think. Nope, no hints.

We also have a table now.  Yes, it's el cheapo fold plastic table from Wal*Mart, but we have a damn table. We have a place we can sit and eat our meals at...instead asian style on the floor....

I still have a few other orders, but I still don't know what to do with myself now that all the Christmas ones are done. Feels weird to be honest.  Good, but weird.

We celebrated Yule this Sunday. I managed to make a leg of lamb taste amazing. We threw it into the crockpot with leeks, rice and green onions.  I barely tugged on the bone and it came out with no meat left on it. We did stuffed bell peppers with goat creme cheese and veggies.  There's enough food left over for another week's worth of meals.

I'm not active on my facebook right now. I'm sad because facebook changed their policies about pages and you basically have to pay after January 2015 for people to see your content. I ain't got that kind of money.  I'm sad because a lot of really awesome pages might go bye-bye while I'm gone.  I'll have a website hopefully soon though, so that I can stop relying on Etsy and Zibbet.

I AM on ello under Evelyn Stormrose, so if anyone is over there and not already friended me, please feel free, drop me a line too while you're at.

I will have be having two coats at the end of February up for grabs.  No clues about the colors, you'll just have to wait and see.

Okay, I've rambled on enough for today. =) See you guys tomorrow.

Argh

So today is a cheat post.  Sorry about that guys.  I'm dealing with one of my crocheting nemesis's: Baby booties.

I know I know, they are ridiculously simple looking.... yet I can't make them with any semblance of looking decent to save my crochet hooks.  Hundreds of patterns and it all comes out looking the same.  Go figure right?

So here's some season fitting music from one of the few artists that I can stand listening to around this time of year, for any length time.

Heads up!

There won't be a Changelings Agony chapter this week and the next post may not be until Sunday or Monday.

Why? Well.....

These are the unfinished projects I have currently.  I have five open Christmas orders that I'm busting fingers on, so if I am manage to get a couple done by Sunday, I'll be doing good.  

All right, y'all be good (or good at it).

Changeling's Agony, Chapter II

This is a work of fiction.  All concepts, characters and events portrayed in this book are used fictitiously and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. 

Copyright Evelyn Hively, 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the publisher, nor be circulated in any form of bind or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.

January 10th, 2012

I think I've gone through a full bottle of Tylenol in three weeks.  Between my hip reacting to the sudden drop in the weather and massive headaches at least once a week, I'm shocked I don't have a toxic amount built up into my system yet let alone that the stuff still works for me. Spirit World wise even the dragon that's been hanging out seems agitated.  Yes dear poor sap who got stuck reading my journal, I said a dragon.  Her name translates to Katana from what she tells me.  She's okay with just Kat.

Mace has stopped turning into a giant ball of anger fluff finally whenever I am crocheting and the yarn makes a weird sound as it slides across the edge of the plastic tubs I keep it in.  Which is a good thing as she still has her claws and I'm tired of putting band aids on my thighs. 

- Entry from Lacy's Journal

    Lacy wiped the tears from her face. Another pounding headache had woken her early that day after she had a particularly bad night and wasn't able to get to sleep until around four a.m.. The headache had come knocking at five a.m.. She managed to get down the stairs without killing herself, and get something taken but getting back up to her bedroom was out of the question.  She had curled up onto the futon that doubled as her couch, and kept herself close to the end near the fire.  Headaches, she was certain were one of the few that would bring any adult to their knees if intense enough.  

    Her crying intensified as the pain began swelling again.  She reached for the roll of toilet paper that she had brought out with her to futon and tore off several pieces.  She started stuffing them up her nose and not a moment too soon as a familiar stabbing sensation occurred.  Lacy sank back into the futon. She didn't understand it.  Sometimes the headaches went away on their own, other times her nose decided it wanted to just explode. Either way, the pain was gone finally. Mace stuck her head back around the corner and glared at Lacy.

    Lacy just shook her head. There were some things that a cat was just not going to understand. The nose bleed lasted several seconds longer than normal. She waited until it had stopped fully before carefully standing up and heading into the kitchen. She glanced up to find Kat peering in the window at her.  Lacy just about jumped back over the counter to the futon. 

     "Damnit Kat," Lacy managed around the wad of paper product in her nose.

    I thought you were used to be able to see me by now, Kat's voice lilted through her head.  Lacy shook her head slowly, careful not to knock anything loose from her nose. 

    "I'm still not certain you're real and not just a hallucination from my very fucked up subconscious," Lacy told the moss green creature.  Kat gave the woman a head bob, which Lacy took to mean 'point taken.'

    What is it that you're doing now? Should you even be moving around?

    Lacy smiled faintly.

    "Well oh creature of indeterminate origin, I'm actually going to be making a small meal focusing mainly on proteins and irons.  It'll help mitigate the effects of the blood loss."

    Ah, I see.  Smart.  

    "So I'm told."

    Lacy pulled out a couple pieces of fish, fresh spinach and started eating some raisins. Kat settled down into a comfortable perch and watched her. She winced in sympathy when the girl slowly pulled the bloody paper from her nose and went a few shades paler. Lacy frowned at her frying fish and decided to just eat it plain. Anything spice wise stood a strong chance of aggravating her incredibly sensitive nose cavity. It was always best to do without on days like this one. Even if she messed up the fish, she would still have to be the one to eat it.  Mace being the strange little cat that she was, disdained fish. She didn't even like tuna. Lacy had been glad that she had only bought the one can of the stuff. Mace trilled at her human as she sat down to eat.

    "Yes mom, I will eat all of it even if it takes me an hour," Lacy teased her cat. Mace gave an approving meow back to her. Lacy shook her head. 

    "There are days I wonder if I'm imagining her interactions with me."

    I would think that that is the least of your worries my dear.

    Lacy glanced back up at the dragon as she started eating. Kat smiled.  For the first time that day the glint was back in Lacy's eyes. Lacy started to work on her meal slowly as Kat nodded in satisfaction.  Her skin tone was starting to return to normal again and the sick looking pallor that had been her appearance started to fade.

    I'll be back later child.  I have some work to do.

    "Dragon's have jobs?"

    Oh yes indeed dear.  Spirit Side is the same as your side.  We all have jobs and duties we've taken on. It'd be horribly boring otherwise, what with the only entertainment being silly humans.

    With that the dragon took and flew out of sight over the trees that surrounded the cabin. Lacy looked around and sighed.  Despite the fact Kat never came inside, it always felt emptier when she left.  Lacy wasn't sure as to why. 

    "Maybe she's really not a figment of my imagination," she said to Mace.  Mace just tilted her head to one side and started purring very loudly.

Ooohhh... so that's what a weekend is....

which is basically just something that was arbitrarily set as a week's end and the week's beginning.  ...Just another two days in other words.

Being able to take a day off is a privilege.  Not a right.  If I take a day off, it's because I want to.  Sometimes I need to, hence me dancing around like a happy puppy inside my head when I got to go with the hot springs.

Everything has healed up nicely from the hike now.  The right calf is still a bit stiff, but I think it's because I may have over-used it a bit more than the left.  The hips, surprisingly enough are fine.

I'm done to the last two Christmas orders and finishing the one really big order.  Feels good because I've managed also to make a few presents this year as I had deliberately allowed time for it this year.

Which brings me to the facebook break, which will be about a month and a half.  December 19th to January 31st.  I'll need to be able to get in touch with a few folks on facebook as I'll be working on some seriously heavy projects.

Speaking of which, yesterday was.... off.  I know a few of my friends were feeling it too.  Depressive and just.... yucky.  If I had to describe the vibe of yesterday, the best way to do so is imagine you knocked olive oil all over yourself.... now imagine you can't wash it off for several hours.  Pretty much.

It let up when the fiance got back from a few errands, but I can tell you right now, I'm going to need a furbaby once we get to Arizona.  I will need the company.  And knowing my luck, the little brat may even end up being there waiting on the doorstep as we're moving in.

Today, I smudged with sage.  As soon as it was possible too.  That definitely helped a lot.  I'll probably do that a few more times today too.

Changeling's Agony will be up here shortly after this, I'm just doing some polishing on it.  So not really much to chat about today.  Hey, it happens.

*Pop, creak* Ouch

I got to go to a hot springs, I got to go to a hot springs. Na na na na na-nyah! I'm kicking myself though, because I didn't take as many photos as I should have.  Also, further digging into the area... showed that the Pacific Crest Trail, goes right that spot.

Deep Creek Hot Springs.  A gorgeous little gem of an area.  Now mind you this was Sunday-Monday.  The hike out was a bit more intense... okay a lot more intense, because we were going up for a large chunk of it, but the calf muscle and shoulder pain have been totally worth.

Then last night one of our local grocery stores was having a sale on turkey... that basically came out to 50 cents a pound.  

We grabbed a 14 pound one and processed it down into more manageable sized pieces.  Cut the legs, wings, breasts, shoulders and thighs off.  Cut a large amount of dark meat off into smaller pieces and wrapped that up and froze it as well.

We threw the remaining carcass which was the ribcage, spine etc along with the neck bones and the remaining meat from the turkey breast we had gotten for thanksgiving into the pot.  Proceeding to boil that down for about maybe two hours.  By the time we were done, there was 2 quarts of nothing but turkey stock.  The amount of broth and meat leftover for turkey stew is close a quart and a half.  The turkey meat leftover after that  is enough for turkey salad, turkey omelettes and turkey tacos.  And that was just from boiling down the bones and the meat that was left one them.

I still haven't gotten my pack cleaned out and put back together yet... or the sleeping bag run through the dryer... or the laundry finished....but I do have the Toothless order almost finished and am about to finish of the coats and start on the stockings and.... LOL yeah, I know, I need an assistant some weeks.

It's been one of those weird weeks though ya know?  A lot of great things have happened, but we also got hit by Murphy again this past Sunday.  The fiance had to go take care of a speeding ticket.  He hit something that blew out the front tire and while trying to bring the car to a stop, managed to get gravel between the tire and the hubcap, and flat tire alla carte.

Which cost us close to  400 bucks (250 for the tow... yeah seriously) then replace the blown tire and fix the flat tire.  Oh and that speeding ticket does look like it'll get dismissed, but it's going to take two more trips to get it ironed out.

Then I have family and friends that aren't quite feeling themselves and...

Well, let's just say I have a Yule/Christmas challenge for ya'll.  This holiday season, instead of casting/praying for this that or the other thing, pray/cast that the people you know, even if they haven't told you they need, are provided comfort.  The holiday seasons are some of the most brutal times of the year for a lot of folks.  Like me.  Christmas day, seven years to do the day this year, is my second miscarriage.  I was two months along.  Time takes the sting out of it but... well...

So yeah, that is my challenge to everyone who reads this.  Pray/wish/cast that everyone in your life, is given some comfort and closure.

It's the etheral things, that make Yule/Christmas what it is.

It's Saturday already?!?!

I don't know about you but that week went fast!

So I'm chilling out, as I've got two orders almost 90% done.  With another three at halfway and one more that I'll be starting on tomorrow.  Chilling out though means working on orders around here, so I'm doing one of the knitting orders instead of one of the crocheting ones for a change of pace.

Black Friday has come and gone with its usual amounts of snarling, moaning and not actually saving money.

I almost ate too much on Thursday, and I made enough for food for leftovers for a week.  And that was just with cooking for just two people.  Can you imagine how much food is going to be leftover in future years?  Any guests we have will get sent home to-go boxes of food.  LOL

I'll have the first chapter of Changeling's Agony up later today.  I'm working on it in-between color changes on two of the orders I've made time to work on today.  Which reminds me, must remind fiance to bring home a couple of craft supplies.  =/

That never seems to fail.  I get an order for something, I think GREAT! I have everything I need... wrong....never fails.  Never ever ever fails.  Either I need stuffing, felt for eyes, more of one color or I get distracted by an annoying neighbor.   

So what was there for me to be thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I'm with my fiance, we actually got turkey this year (last year was chicken), we got to spend most of the evening together, watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and just had a nice quiet day.  While we aren't living in a better place yet, that's on the horizon and is a very attainable goal.

Also for those of you who are eyeballing things in my shop, there's a 20% off coupon for the Etsy storefront - BLUECOLLARPREP2014 for your entire order.  It's good until the 18th of next month, when the shop goes on vacation for a bit.

So all in all, I had a great holiday.  I hope you did too.

Vacation until Saturday.

Happy Thanksgiving Folks.

Stay safe, spend it with folks you can at least tolerate and I'll be back on Saturday.

When You're the Wife of a PI

And so begins my next project, right here for you all to see.  Names have been changed to protect privacy and in several instances parts of the story have been fictionalized in order to make them a bit more interesting.  Other parts... needed no such tweaking.  These are just going to be a series of short stories as time allows for me to type up what bits and pieces of interesting or non-interesting fare that occur and a permanent ongoing series here.  So grab some coffee.


When you're the wife of a private investigator....

It ain't what they show on TV or in the movies.  It's never what they show on the TV or movies.  It's boring.  Thank Gods.

I realize that most likely doesn't make sense.  Unless you've been friends with someone in the business or are a PI, then you know what I'm talking about.  Everything a PI does, while it has the chance of becoming H-town exciting though there's a 2% chance of it, is boring.  Sitting in a car on surveillance is boring.  Following people doesn't happen on every single surveillance and those traffic lights are never working in your favor.  Benjamin, my husband, has been doing PI work for a little over seven years now.    I'm Garnet by the way.  (Let's just not go there right now okay?)

Benjamin works in the hub that is armpit of California: Los Angeles.  Before you start pointing out all the celebrities and all of that jazz, most of them don't live in LA.  They live in smaller, quieter areas on the borders.  Most of them don't hire PI's because usually they don't need them.  You know where most of the work comes from as a PI?  Well, the movies and shows got that part right.  Jealous husbands or wives who want proof their significant other is cheating on them. Even those cases are boring.

Benjamin and I met over three years ago.  We've been married two.  When I finally joined him here in LA, I did go with him on a few cases. I only do that now when I've spent too much time in the apartment.  Benji works for three different groups of companies that have PI's on their staff full time.  Only one of those companies provides weekly work.  That's another thing the movies have partially right.  Work comes and goes.  And when it goes you better have money put back and side jobs.

There is no such thing as a set schedule.  Take this morning for instance.  We were cuddling and by cuddling I mean I'm wrapped up around him snoozing on his shoulder while he's goofing off on a social media site and kissing me on the forehead from time to time.  Then the phone rings, and it's his full time boss letting him they tweaked the schedule.  So he has to get up and do a quickie preliminary investigation series of paperwork to find out where he's going.   At which point I hear him cuss (which is dammits and fucking hells in case you're wondering).  Not only is where he going not in LA this morning, but he has to leave as soon as he gets breakfast inhaled.

What folks don't tell you about L.A. is that it's big.  REALLY big, and that while they might call parts of it Glendale, Orange County, or Simi Valley.... it's all Los Angeles.  There's no difference between any of them.  It's also really long and really wide when you drive a lot like he does.  On a good day, when there's minimal traffic, you can get from the ocean to the eastern side into the desert in two and a half hours.  No, you read that right.  Two. And a half. Hours.  That's in minimal traffic on the most direct route, like on a Monday morning at three a.m. .  If you when everyone else does,  bring an audio book because everyone else has the same idea and you're looking at a four hour drive. If there are no accidents.

Then when he gets there it'll be more boring.  He'll be sitting outside an office waiting for someone to finish a meeting and then follow them home.  Where he'll do more sitting.

Did I mention all the driving?  This is one of the only things about his job that actually frightens me. The other is how they send a white guy to some areas of LA that I don't think even the cops go into without full riot gear at hand, if not on.   People in LA, think traffic lights are more like guidelines than hard rules.   It's a wonder this place is still standing.

Even then it gets boring.  You see one fender bender, the drivers flip each other off, trade local colloquialisms and then drive off, you've seen them all.  They're the same in every town or city, although on a good day, you may only see one such incident at every third light.

Even audio books get boring on this job.  Encounters with the cops, boring too.  Even the encounters with bored cops stay boring when they are talking to you.

There's no office at the end of a long hallway with frosted glass and Courier font on the window stating it's Detective So and So's office.  No dames walking in high heels and garter belts, with hats drawn down so low you can only see cherry lips and slender jawlines. (Thank the Gods for small blessings.) No high speed chases... well, not the kind you see in the movies, but that's a story for another time.  The Dick Tracy story lines of noir and Humphrey Bogart lineage... those are either things of the past or happen so rarely that they are the stuff of legends.

I still go with from time to time.  I tend bring my crocheting or knitting with me.  For whatever reason, this tends to help us be ignored.  While this lets me get orders done, it makes for a boring day. I've been on just enough surveillance that got a little too interesting for my tastes, so I like those boring days.  They mean my husband comes home and wasn't shot for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  He's a former Marine though.  That means exactly what you think it means.  He likes the days that get exciting.  Though here anymore, following the subject to the grocery store is as exciting as it usually gets.

You want an exciting investigation career, kiddies?  Don't go private sector.

Saturday Morning rambling on

So, I'm chilling here.  Working on fixing a couple of Toothless wings that I read the pattern on wrong (@^$&#*@$%&#$) and just enjoying a semi-normal morning.  Semi-normal to most folks anyone.

For me it's a normal morning.  Planning out my time for how much I'm going to spend on each project. Hoping the idiot whose a blasted energy vampire practically doesn't come over (you know the kind of folks that always leave you drained).  Wondering how many personal experiences to spin up into Changeling's Agony.  Making sure I'll have eaten before Traveller's Universe tonight.  Practicing yoga sitting positions (which are great when you've hip problems like I do).

If the brat en-vamp will stay away, I'll be on track.  She's one of these people who when she comes in, everything comes to crashing screeching halt.  She knows she's welcome sometimes, but somehow that got stretched to all the time in her head.   *facepalm*

Changeling's Agony has cemented itself for the most part in my head.  I know where I and it want to go.  So far, me and the story/characters agree on the directions and events.  ...so far.

Other stories are coming along as well, but those are coming along at like... a paragraph at a time.

The muse knows, it's focus on crochet orders and that has taken the priority.

Save for where Nuovaria and CA are involved.  I've had two handwritten chapters of Nuovaria that I've been working on getting typed up, and expect to finish those by next weekend.

It literally goes as follows:

*crocheting for several minutes*

*take a break, type up a paragraph or two, save progress*

*go back crocheting*

That's how it goes...like I said... normally goes.

At the suggestion of my big brother, I'm going to get a sign made when we get moved that says:

"The Cauldron Hours are: 10AM - 8PM local time."

So I have this idea....

... that I'm thinking about fleshing out here on the blog.

I have a story idea, but I don't know if it's readable.  So I'm going to be doing the chapters on here, on Thursday's or Saturday's (whichever day the muse decides to cooperate) and then once the story is done, go back and put it all together for a book and be done with it.  This idea has nothing to do with any other story.

If this story seems practically identical to another FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS PLEASE TELL ME.  I do not want to be writing something thinking it's original to me and find out, no, this author did it and did it better.   Cuz... seriously that would suck. Several of the dreams of the main character are ones I have had, but I'm learning courage.  The courage to present to you some of my darkest dreams, but also this character.  She is me in a few ways, in that, many of these dreams I have actually had.   This blog is my personal blog... and I'm bearing a large chunk of who I am personally to you here... so this is partly catharsis and partly my flexing some creative muscle in an attempt to make my muse happy.  She's upset because I'm not writing enough, so I'm giving her this.

  So... I tentatively present to you...

Changeling's Agony: Awakening
Prologue

     It always started out the same.  Always the damn same sequence of events.  The horns calling everyone in.  The assembly taking their seats.  Everyone bickering and jockeying for position based on their age, pantheon, followers etc, etc. Always her, being guided to the front row.  Always that feeling of unease.

   Assemblies like this were almost never heard of.  Every pantheon was here. Egypt with their anthropomorphic states, Greek with their simple flowing robes but looks of pure emotion, Chinese with their feigned indifference but quick side glances.  Then there were the front rows.  Gaea, with her daughters.  Ma'at with her children.  Lugh, with his heirs. So forth and so forth.  Those who were upheld by universal concepts regardless of culture that had become algorithms of multiple cultures and their worship of certain concepts, like that of justice, the mother earth, the sun, the moon, the sky which gave the rain for the plants which feed the meat. Their families were massive as well, as all could be described as some key Gods' and Goddesses' offspring.  Without light and darkness, there would be no photosynthesis or rest.  

   It never failed though.  She would be seated as an offspring of Gaea... but her father was... always behind her, the Elf King.  She never looked at him as it was improper to look behind at rows towards the back, but she always could tell he was there and proud of her. Her mother was Gaea, to the front and left of her. No one ever knew what was going to happen at the meetings, but this was a meeting of everyone. It was a meeting that had nothing leading up to it. A meeting of uncertainty.  It wasn't what anyone was expecting.  Out of nowhere, the Winged Ones had appeared and handed off notifications.  She had never been summoned to such a meeting before.

   A hush feel over the assembly as It came into the hall.  It was impressive.  One instance it was a rainbow, other It was all of them as they inhaled and exhaled.  IT was The Supreme and they were all it's children.  The supreme intelligence that had been born with their universe that had come into existence in one single explosive microsecond. Everyone bowed their heads in reverence to the All. Even she, though she was headstrong and young, she knew... this was her grandfather and that he deserved every ounce of respect and love she could muster.  She/He was herself and everything around her. She was It, and It was her, even with the separation of identities.

   It greeted everyone with love.  It only took a minute, but the voice in her mind that whispered to her, "Hello my Dear One! How is my most precious love today?"  The conversations happened in only a couple of minutes, but everyone returned their to their Origin in what seemed only a few heartbeats.

   The meeting began with normal formalities, the Fathers of the pantheons announcing themselves and that their families were there for the proceedings.  It was disconcerting when Gaea, Ma'at, Danu, Dagda, and a few of the other who were known as the All's in their titles, stood up and in unison announced their children and It's were all there.     

   And It's?

   That part always gave her chills.  It was capable and willing to produce with those who were the product of energy thought formation to produce offspring.  It's how so many of the races had come into being, but it was still eerie. She was the result of It and Gaea. She forced herself to focus on the meeting.

   "I'm sorry my dears but it would appear that they have chosen their paths and will stick to it until the next Change is upon them or until the other Races have decided that it's time for the humans to cease existing."

    Cries of outrage came up from dozens of voices.  The humans had been beloved of almost all the Gods because of how short their lives were. They appreciated the good things much more than any Elf or Dragon or Dwarf did and it was because they were more mortal than so many others.  Humans were the pets, the beloved ones.  The only ones who would slip among and be among the stars.

    It raised it's hands to calm the Children.  They murmured and restlessness overtook the assembly as a general feeling of indignity arose. It looked the Children over and focused on her. She rose without being beckoned and stepped down the pathway to her what was her GrandFather/Mother.  She bowed, with tears trickling down her cheeks.  She knew what was coming.  A sacrifice.

   It looked at her with love unbound.  

   "I need you all... to save the race.  They can't produce human souls at a rate that will sustain their reproduction abilities, so I need you all to become human.  Will you?" It asked... no, It begged.

   She straightened her shoulders and faced the assembly, haughty but trembling in fear.

   "The Elves answer the Call of the Creator-All.  We will not abandon our baby brethren race as we were not abandoned."

    She lifted her chin in defiance and stared down one particular God who had been very vocal in all the proceeding talking about just smacking the humans down as they had before and forcing them to confront their mortality and inability to be perfect. They were meant for imperfection, but to allow them to get anywhere close was folly according to him.

   Her declaration sent many into fervent whispers and glances to allies or foes that wouldn't have normally occurred.  Her father stood in solidarity with her as did every other Elf, Dwarf and Dragon in attendance.  Many became hushed, and stood with her.  Some the only ones to stand from their pantheons.  Others, the whole pantheon stood. One Race Elder stood and looked around with a most serious look of disgust on her face.
   "This means WE have to leave the Earth as we die off and be re-born as humans, on a world that we have every right to share and walk on with, just because YOU want to save a bunch of mutant monkeys! Fine. You have chosen war and I will bring it to your doorstep when you least expect it. Your precious humans will be destroyed, even if it must be done slowly."
    She left the Hall. Everyone who had not stood with her, left with the Elder.  It waited until everyone who not chosen to stand in solidarity with IT and the others had left. 
   "They too will be born as humans... but they will not be your allies in way or form," Gaea spoke.  It nodded and focused back her, his granddaughter Elf. 

    It gently wrapped both hands around her hands and kissed her forehead. 

    "Let it begin."

   Lacy sat up in bed, panting from the lack of air her lungs couldn't seem to find.  

  The Dreams were back and there would be no avoiding what they meant this time.

   

    

Time for a change.

"Uh oh.... what kind of change Evie?"

Relax.  It's... okay yeah actually it is kinda major.

One of the things that a Witch should be doing frequently, is introspection.  Self-improvement is vital but ego is meant to be a tool, not make you into a tool.

One must be aware of their interactions in every light.

Yesterday I found myself staring back at the realization that I have a large amount of work to do... and that I can't do it with my facebook stuff still active.  We ALL know how much a time sink that place can be.

Well it's also the home of keyboard warriors and their liquid courage.  Loose lips sink ships?

Loose fingers cause episodes.

Last two months have been many micro and small episodes after scanning my facebook feed and coming away dealing with memories.  That's a little too much power over someone.  I can't keep sacrificing my productivity just be online and debate with someone.   I better things to do, than sit on the floor staring at my computer screen wondering how the fuck someone could so god damn stupid.  The site is going full on depression trigger some days.

What happens when something has too much power of you?  You remove it. Completely.

Everything on Facebook is going to be shut down a few days before Yule.  Probably will be back up online there next summer.  The Zibbit and Etsy will be on vacation from December 18th to January 15th.  They'll be online and available for your perusal after January 15th again.  However, there may not be a lot of in-stock things.

I am going to be working on a new website, one where I can have the store, this blog and everything I work on in ONE place.

Yeah, there are folks I won't know how are doing because the only way we interact is Facebook.  There's only a few of folks that I'll actually seriously miss that I only interact with on FB.  Like a Controlled Chaos and MurphyMonster's Dad...  But the site has become a source of stress, and less and less enjoyment every day.  I'm looking at Ello and maybe MiWe I think it was called as maybe a new option over Facebook, but I'm not sure on those either.

But I am dangerously close to burning out.  I can feel that crinkling sensation that seems to happen at the edge when you've pushed yourself on one particular topic for too long.

You do what you have to in order to take care of yourself.  Regardless of what others might think is best for you.  They aren't you.  They aren't dealing with the consequences of YOUR actions.  They aren't responsible for your mess, your emotions, your problems.  You can weigh their advice against a situation, and toss it if you know it's wrong.

Sometimes the only piece of advice that's worth listening to is, "Now I'm not you..."

Music

It's a cheat post today darlings.

I had a longer night than normal last night.  From a small fuss with the Fiance... to... well, a spooky event that sobered me up to the point I put my drink in the fridge, double checked the lock on the door and scrambled into bed.

So, it's a music link.

Black Zone

That's what I've taken to calling it.

October 2011 - March 2012.

When I hit my worst bought of depression since I was 16-17 years of age.

I don't remember most of November or December.  January was when things start moving upward and March was when for the first time since I was 11 or 12... I didn't feel like I was covered in oil.

I talk about this because I'm still bummed out.  Not as badly as the Black Zone, but still.  It's fucking with my productivity, my ability to keep the PTSD from getting severe in terms of symptoms.  Minor flashbacks I can deal with.... but not when they go on all day.

With the fiance going on work that I can't come along with, it's harder to fight days off like that.  He's become a very big part of my world and being able to deal with this shit.  So when he's not around and I don't get to see him for a few days.... yeah.  It's bad.  Dark gray.  Not Black, but definitely a darker grey than I like.

A part of what made January the recovery that it was, was because I had picked up the habit of crocheting one small thing a day.  Usually first thing in the day, after morning coffee and lovings from the MindyCat.  Be it a hat or a neck purse.

There were literally days, were that was all I did.  Was make hats.  Beanies to be precise.

I get one done, get up walk around, stoke the fire, re-clean something (I had mice seeing as how I was in the middle of the woods) and then would sit back down, pick two new colors and make another hat.

I made a lot of hats and purses.

I think I need to return that habit of one small thing made a day.  It puts something down as having accomplished something, and that causes a massive release of endorphin's to counteract the grey.  It makes it was easier to get other things done to.

And by the end of the day, I've managed to get at least two or three things done.  When you deal with depression a lot, that's a major accomplishment.

Even if that one thing, multiplies into several of the same thing.... I've gotten something.  I've made a step, from dark grey to towards actual colors again.

The orders are getting done though.  I'm not as bogged down this year as I was last year.

Don't be surprised if a bunch of bags and hats appear in the shop soon.

Pass the Coffee dudes.....

7:30 am this morning....awake.

I managed to get a 15 minute nap. After that it was very clear, there wasn't any going back to sleep.  Oh well.

The to-do list for today includes working on streamlining and cleaning up the facebook page for Jade Rose Zen, which also got a slight name change.  Jade Rose Zen ThreadWorks.

Someone finally went, hey the name doesn't really say much besides being catchy.  *head desk*

Never fails, either people won't give any advice or give too much.  Thankfully my friend Erin knows where to draw the line when it comes to advice.  Lovely gal that she is.

Though last night she asked me, what the heck it was that going on with JRZT.  Etsy brings in half of my orders but zero traffic.  Zibbet brings almost all of my traffic, but no orders.  Half of my orders come from Facebook, but maybe ten percent of traffic.

*head desk; head desk; head desk*

I do plan on building a website that is my store and independent of the crapp shoots that all these sellers.  Whether or not it work out..... well, that's another ball game and one that I'm not going to address until after the move.

And of course, Jade Rose Zen Threadworks even without the spaces is too long for Etsy, but the title can have it....

*rubs temples*

How one manages to stay sane while attempting to maneuver all this shit is beyond me.   So what's on tap for new stuff coming to the Facebook page?  Hopefully by the end of today, I'll have things organized better.  I am not an ads person.  Hell, I can barely write descriptions for the stuff I make that is outside of what the measurements are.  That's all folks need right?  Along with a good two or three pics....

Seriously how the hell do some of these folks come up with this prattle that is in their items listings?

Adding four new albums to the Facebook page, including a available for custom order catalog, knitting, crocheting and a paracord catalog.

Also, I call bullshit on anyone who says the economy is getting better.  PTUI!

Go fuck a duck.  Seriously.  Last year, I was getting several big orders.  This year, I had one big one and everything is small things.  Even small things are great though, but folks just aren't spending their money.  They're holding onto it tightly because they don't know when things are going to suddenly break on their cars that they've duct taping and wishing along as pieces start rattling that really shouldn't rattle.

Hell, I know folks who are trading quarts of food they canned two years ago to shade tree mechanics to get their brakes fixed, oil changed, etc.  People are trading goods for services.   Which is a time-honored tradition by the way.  One that I fully practice whenever able.  To be honest, things are not going to be better economy wise.  There's too many bubbles, there's too many head in the sand and there's coming up probably a few years where you're going to want armed guards on the fields protecting crops.

Won't last for several years though, probably 3-6 at the most.  Americans are bred from incredibly hardy stock, from all over the world.  There's a very unique spirit there that after a time will shake itself clean and look around and go, "Oh hell.  This needs fixed, and this needs fixed...."  So they start fixing stuff in their own lives, which produces this gorgeous ripple effect.  It starts inspiring other folks to get off their asses and get work done.

Oops, there I go another tangent again... what was I talking about... oh yeah, the shop.   I'll be taking a decent number of pictures today of the paracord stuff.  There so much of it, they can literally be broken down by color.  Heck, I'll throw up a second post late today with everything in it.  Sound good?

Well, I'm done rambling for today.  Time for coffee and breakfast.  Ya'll have a great weekend okay?